I MADE THEM RUN AWAY by Martina Zanin

“It was summer and like many children I was spending my days at a summer camp. One evening I came home very excited and after having dinner with my grandmother I went upstairs where my mother and I lived with the intention of going to sleep. As soon as I entered I saw my mother and a man sitting on the couch watching television. My mother asked me how the day had gone and I could not stop to show them both what I had learned. I began to dance and sing in front of the television for about 10 minutes, until the man interrupted my performance by saying “It’s getting late, I better go.”, followed by a glaring look from my mother. Once I greeted the man, my mother returned to the house and told me “Is it possible that you have to make them all run away?” My mother’s continuous search for “the perfect family” brought her to know, and to let me know, dozens of men, many of whom lived at our house. Even after going through difficult relationships, my mother never lost her desire to create a family, nor her great fear of loneliness. So, during the years when the first internet sites for meetings were taking place, she decided to sign up to find his soul mate and finally a father figure for me. At first these men looked very kind and considerate, but quickly their behaviors changed and they revealed for what they really were; what they wanted was clear and obviously family was not part of their interests. “I made them run away” is a multi-level story that links archival material, photographs and texts. It combines past and present to examine the mother-daughter relationship and the perception of men.